Not a day goes by when some poor soul says to me: "Mr. Pitchfork, I saw my girlfriend in the back of a Suburu making out with 3 sailors, should I break up with her?" or "Dear PFJ, I have an addiction to powdered doughnuts but they seem to give me gas... how can I stop from breaking wind when eating my favorite food?"  Now All you have to do is ask!

All you need to do is fill out the form below and you will soon have the answer you are seeking. While some problems may be more serious than others, more time may be needed to provide you with the best possible answer. Most questions will be answered within 24-48 hours and will be emailed the email address you provide, as well as posted on the weekly Dear Pitchy advice page.